Marryin' Davy

I've tried to count how many weddings I've officiated over the last 37 years of having the privilege of saying "I do by the authority vested in me as a minister of the Gospel, and in accordance with the laws of this state, do pronounce you, husband and wife...", but frankly I've lost count. The first was for my sister Vickie and future brother-in-law, Alvin, some 33 or so years ago and the last was for my nephew, also a David Gentiles, and his beautiful bride Emily, last weekend. In between there have been a handful of ceremonies for couples I didn't know, but the vast majority of them were for young men and women that I knew very well who had been a part of the churches and youth ministries I was fortunate enough to have served. It, frankly, is one of the coolest things about what I have done for a living all these years, and that is saying a lot, because I have been the beneficiary for way more spectacular moments than I got to serve up...It was one of those cases where you are amazed every time you get paid that somebody actually wants to give you money for getting to hang out with kids...What could be better than that...well maybe collecting several million a year to play second base for the Cleveland Indians (who clinched the American League Central Division pennant Sunday night...but that is for another post) wouldn't be too shabby either, but aside from that, working with kids throughout these years has been an absolute blast.

But back to the marrying subject...and this is a little hard to admit...it scares the shit out of me every time I stand there. Don't get me wrong...I still love being there...and I am honored that they have asked me...but I can't help but remember that here I am... a divorced man, a failure at the very thing I'm officiating. I don't know if there is something really screwed up about that...or if it is actually really redemptive and beautiful that God could take my failure and allow me to be a part of this young couple's beauty. I sure know how to speak with candor about the difficulty of the journey they are embarking upon without sugar coating it or dismissing it...but I still have a twinge when they say..."til death do us part". Of course, the reality is that I'm a minor player anyway...I'm like a good baseball ump or basketball referee...the minute people notice you is a sure indication that you've messed up something and called the groom the wrong name, or dropped the ring, or read the wrong passage from Song of Solomon and referred to the brides "breasts like twin fawns" (yeah...it's in there...SOS 7:3). But also, because I generally know these young people so well I refuse to just monotone through a perfunctory ritual...I get to talk personally about who these young women and men are as people, and why I am so proud of them...I don't know if it means that much to them, but it sure does to me, so, I still accept when they ask me, and I still am honored and humbled.

So this weekend I stood on the monstrous stage at First Baptist Church, Euless, Texas and officiated over the vows and rings for David and Emily. They both had 11 attendants, so the processional in and out, and the getting in place on the stage was like the Texas A&M Aggie Corp Band doing their half-time show weave...it was impressive. We attempted the first-ever "unity laminating machine" ceremony. Lots of couples do a unity candle or unity sand ceremonies, but being the bold adventurous couple they are, they chose to laminate two sheets of paper with colored tissue to symbolize the joining of two colors to make a completely new one, as well as the inseperable the bond between the two sheets. And in their defense, it worked well in rehearsal...the machine ate the paper in the ceremony (of course) and we had a good laugh and I got to improvise the spiritual significance of crumpled laminating paper in the light of the will of a sovereign God...Let's just say it ended up being way funnier than it was supposed to be. Then there was a moving celebration of communion with David and Emily to the soundtrack of Billy Crockett and Milton Brasher-Cunningham's amazing song, "Here's To The Day". And there was so much more...David is a wonderful singer/songwriter musician who is on the worship staff at FBCE, and he and some of his longtime friend/band mates opened the ceremony with a two-song set of rousing rock and roll praise and worship tunes... in their wedding suits, of course. And then there was Jonathan. Jonathan is a friend of David's from his years growing up in small-town Sweeny, Texas. Jonathan also has Downs Syndrome...and there was not a prouder more supportive groomsman on this stage (that looked like a page from Bridal Magazine, albeit, a really crowded page) than Jonathan who broke up the solemn processional in (remember the weaving corp routine) by giving David knuckles and a quick hug as he passed him on his way escorting his partner to their spot on the stage. Of course, after that it was high fives, low fives, pats on the butt, kisses and more for the guys that followed...it was great. I love David...we've been about as close as an uncle and a nephew can be, and I've been as proud of his accomplishments as I have with my own girls...and again God allows me to be a part of something that is way bigger than me. I suspect I never will get this figured out...I know the feelings of shame and failure are not from God, and are more about my shadow, so I'll keep reminding myself that like Jonathan, it is much more fun giving knuckles and hugging than feeling like, well you know...

Pling...Pling...

dg